Numb

I am very disappointed. feeling useless all over my mind. how can I just take it as a simple thing when it judges my whole life. I am terribly sad. dunno how to react. my tears always not compromise with my rebellious attitude. dunno where to turn to. all hopes are gone, gone like a tiny wind in the air blowing once gone rest. I wish I am a bird so that I can fly wherever I want to go. my responsibility is nothing. but the truth is I'm not a bird. I am just cannot be anyone else. How the fact make my life so miserable. the pain seems injecting in every of my nerve. screaming, deceiving, how the pain worse by day. I take it as usual thing to happen to me everyday as the pain becomes stronger. my heart beats the pain rhythm, my mind think the hurt, my breath I breathe is the pain flu. everything seems so wrong at a time. please guide me to the truthfulness. don't leave me alone. I begging you please...enough drive me this crazy. I want to go back...go back to the eternal happiness...